so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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