I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
