my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Randomize
