turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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