So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
