He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize