im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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