I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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