some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I pour the whiskey from now on
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
