Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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