Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just want nice things and good sex
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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