if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
