we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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