you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
