I puked a lego.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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