Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
