if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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