We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
