I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
