all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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