Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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