what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
