your thong is hanging out like whoa
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
