tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I am available for nakedness
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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