We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
