I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
