i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
