It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
