those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
