dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
