No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
