Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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