would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
