That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
