She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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