I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
