i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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