Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We have so much sex to catch up on
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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