Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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