I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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