I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
