I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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