I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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