There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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