not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My cat gives me a boner
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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