I want to have your abortion
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
