Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
