i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
