"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
