My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
