is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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