Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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