wakey wakey hands off snakey
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
