so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
