Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
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This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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