Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
