I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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