I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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