Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
