So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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