Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
