everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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