Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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