Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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