You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
