4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
