I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
