brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
