I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
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Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
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That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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